Guest Literature Post by Donald Trump!

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This blog will be different today, because Donald Trump demanded to write a guest piece. I told him he doesn’t read literature or know much about it, but he insisted. Anyway, things will go back to normal next week, but until then…herrrrrre’s the illegitimate president:

The Donald (me) doesn’t read novels, but I do read the backs of cereal boxes. Lots of back story, ya know?

Actually, I know a yuge amount about fiction. Not the literary kind — the “alternative facts” kind.

I can’t deal with The Wings of the Dove. Why didn’t Henry James write The Wings of the War Hawk? Sad.

The Red Badge of Courage? Stephen Crane — what a loser. Believe me, I showed more courage getting Vietnam War deferments for alleged bone spurs in my heels, even though I played a ton of sports at the time with no problem. They called me The Natural, and Bernard Malamud wasn’t referring to my hair. Colored my hair while flat on my back: As I Lay, Dyeing.

Also, I bigly love Theodore Dreiser. Sister Carrie? I’d like to grab her by the [deleted]. Make An American Tragedy Great Again? I’m on it!

You see, I have great respect for women. But was George Eliot transblender or something? George is a guy’s name, but that 19th-century scribbler looks female in photos. Lock her up!

“Low Energy Jeb,” “Little Marco,” “Lyin’ Ted,” Chris “Agatha” Christie (And Then There Were None: cabinet positions for him). Was Toni Morrison the lead singer of The Doors? Why did Harper Lee surrender to Ulysses Grant? Were the Brontë sisters at the Women’s March on Washington? How did Richard Wright co-invent the airplane five years before he was born? I have a Tan, but it’s not Amy.

Another George: Orwell. Love, love, love the oppressors in 1984. I even tried doublethink, but I can’t think once most of the time. Ask Herman Melania, my wife’s ancestor, who wrote about a big white male — that’s me! Captain Ahab sounds kind of Muslim, doesn’t he?

Speaking of people with that religious belief, I as the 45th president don’t want refugees and immigrants coming to America from Muslim countries (unless they’re Muslim countries I do business with). Some will die from the horrors they’re trying to flee? That’s The Art of Me Saying “Big Deal.” Call me cruel, call me vicious, call me sadistic, call me anything, but don’t call me Slaughterhouse-Forty-Five. Is that a book?

And The Blacks, The Blacks. Why isn’t novelist Benjamin Black called Benjamin White? Why doesn’t E.B. White use the name E.B. Very White? White Fang rocks. I heard about Zora Neale Hurston’s 1937 novel Their Eyes Were Watching God — how were those eyes watching me nine years before I was born?

Flowers for Algernon — thrilling! I mentally mocked the disabled for pages and pages. Can you beat that? Well, maybe when I bring back torture. The Weight of Water author Anita Shreve needs to write a sequel called The Weight of Waterboarding.

And Jorge Luis Borges and Gabriel Garcia Marquez will never cross our southern border while I’m racist-in-chief, um, sexual-predator-in-chief, um, commander-in-chief. It helps that those Hispanics are dead. Not much border-crossing mobility there…

Mark my words, I’m going to build a wall — paid for by Mexico (aka American taxpayers). We’ll build that big, beautiful fence at The Border — a novel by Cormac McCarthy, whose last name reminds me of my hero Joe McCarthy. Jim Casy of The Grapes of Wrath was a commie, wasn’t he? Not the good kind like Putin. I love Russian literature: War and War…Crime and No Punishment for Me… But Anna Karenina? Overrated! Blood coming out of her whatever (after she was hit by a train). And Alexander Solzhenitsyn? I like authors who don’t get jailed.

Did I mention I drained the swamp? Just so I could have a dry place to burn books by liberal, pinko writers. Ever read Fahrenheit 451? The same number as my IQ. It’s so high! But I didn’t really drain the swamp — I made it swampier. My administration is like a dystopian novel come to life. I have no idea what dystopian means, but Kellyanne Conway and Steve Bannon mentioned it one day. I think of them as The Sound and the Fury. Me? Pride and Prejudice.

It Can’t Happen Here? It already has.

—

Well, that was Trump’s post. Any quips or comments about him and his tenuous connection to literature?

The box for submitting comments is below already-posted comments, but your new comment will appear at the top of the comments area — unless you’re replying to someone.

My new book Fascinating Facts About Famous Fiction Authors and the Greatest Novels of All Time: The Book Lover’s Guide to Literary Trivia will be published soon.

But I’m still selling Comic (and Column) Confessional — my often-funny memoir that recalls 25 years of covering and meeting cartoonists such as Charles Schulz (“Peanuts”) and Bill Watterson (“Calvin and Hobbes”), columnists such as “Dear Abby” and Ann Landers, and other notables such as Coretta Scott King, Walter Cronkite, and various authors. The book also talks about the malpractice death of my first daughter, my remarriage, and life in Montclair, N.J. — where I write the award-winning weekly “Montclairvoyant” humor column for The Montclair Times. You can email me at dastor@earthlink.net to buy a discounted, inscribed copy of the book, which contains a preface by “Hints” columnist Heloise and back-cover blurbs by people such as “The Far Side” cartoonist Gary Larson.

229 thoughts on “Guest Literature Post by Donald Trump!”

  2. Great post on what is one of the most important issues in world poltics today. It reminds me of the book Nineteen Eighty-Four. It has been many years since I last read an Orwell but the appearance of terms like post-truth, alternative facts and fake news prompted me to review the 1984 film adaptation. It holds up remarkably well for a 33 year old film. You are welcome to visit and see how the film stacks up in todays cinematic terms.

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    • Thank you, CineMuseFilms! Glad you liked the post! (“Written” by a thoroughly unlikable man.)

      Yes, Trump and his administration is Orwellian in all kinds of ways. I’ve never seen the “1984” movie, but have read the novel twice — and it’s of course riveting and scary. Good to hear that the film did it justice.

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  3. I came here through Kurts’ blog. I am glad I clicked on the link.

    This post is excellent, what a great satire or perhaps just a reflection of our new reality. Lately, I am so confused, I want to laugh but then the laughter gets stuck in my throat.
    I am glad we met today! I am looking forward to read more.

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  4. Reblogged this on THE ALT TO THE ALT and commented:
    I was considering writing a satire post (i.e., FAKE post!) with its premise being our so-called president writing it as a Guest Author.

    As I was getting set to channel Trump for the writing, I got cold fingers, so to speak, from the damage the channel might do; so, I back slowly away from the keyboard, thought about it for a minute, then made the decision to search around to see if anyone had already done something similar.

    I’m happy to have lost my courage to allow my brain to think as a non-reading Trump and I am awe at the courage author Dave Astor possesses and the risks he was willing to take to share his brain and blog with him, for his sacrifices have allowed us to enjoy this post.

    If you’re a reader of such things as “books” that are written with more than 140 words and that may contain troubling brain hurdles such as nuance and non-linear plot and plotless constructs, then you must check out Mr. Astor’s witty and wise blog.

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  6. Oh, Don. Don, Don, Donnie. I must admit that this hi-jacking post is humorous in places (‘I love Russian literature: “War and War”…“Crime and No Punishment for Me”’ for example. Oh, you weren’t joking? Ok, moving right along then…) but it’s obvious that oncespeak is difficult for you, so you should probably limit all of your conversation to 140 characters or less. It’s also pretty obvious that you don’t know very much about classic authors, because if you did, you’d know that Ms Elliot felt that she had to write as a man so that her literature wouldn’t be grabbed by the [deleted].

    It’s possible that Mr Astor enjoyed the break from writing this week, but you should know that around here, we think of him as literature royalty and wouldn’t swap him for anything. His intelligence, humour and compassion (feel free to have someone look up the meaning of those words for you) make this such a safe site to visit. The personal stories that are shared and trusted are just as engaging as the talk about novels.

    Speaking of novels, the one I’m currently reading has a negro woman travelling forward in time to the New York of 1999. She’s shocked at the amount of skin that women show, and a cab driver was wearing a turban! Now she doesn’t have much time to look around, and it’s possible that NY is full of prostitutes and terrorists, but the time travelling woman prefers to think that the world has moved on, and there has been some progress towards equality. Feel free to look that word up too.

    Dave, I look forward to your return next week so that we can keep resisting.

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    • Sue, your comment is absolutely hilarious! A real gem. Writing that’s worthy of many a five-letter personage: not Trump, but Eliot, Twain, Joyce, Hardy, Tartt, etc. (Trump adds Dostoyevsky and claims that’s a five-letter name, so I guess I have to go with that “alternative fact.”)

      Thank you for the kind words, too!

      Which novel are you reading now? I’m very intrigued by that description.

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      • Bebe, you are so sweet. Your comment has made my whole weekend! I wish I had more time to comment here, but when I do, I seem to ramble and waffle and blather on and so it can be time consuming for me. But I do read the comments here almost every day, and your comments are always so spot on.

        Dave, it’s possible that Dostoyevsky only has five letters, however it seems that I can’t count as I turned Eliot into a six-letter name. Oops. Though it would probably be worse if I’d never read any of her work, and of that, I’m fortunately not guilty.

        As for my current reading I’m still very much swept up in Stephen King’s “Dark Tower” series. The brief description above is from the sixth volume. I should be finished with the series in about a week or so, and can then go back to more varied reading, starting with the highly recommended Liane Moriarty!

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    • What a wonderful and positive and humorous post Sue, love it , was missing you in here !
      Here is something from my neighbor from Nashville when I lived there years ago a singer and songwriter .

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  7. “Captain Ahab sounds kind of Muslim, doesn’t he?”

    Ray Stevens thought so too when he put out Ahab the Arab in 1962– decades earlier, when such assumptions, sadly, were the basis for ignorant laffs– laffs which, as a near-adolescent boy, I found infectious, and today find naively obnoxious, directed at nothing and nobody beyond the Hit Singles charts which had already been graced, and lately, with the Coasters’ Little Egypt (1961), herself a subject, though few listeners knew it, of great scandal and uproar at the Columbian Exposition….of 1892.

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  10. Dave, while I’m outraged about DT’s Syrian refugees and Muslim travel bans, I’m also quite concerned about what his next steps will be when it comes to the Mexican border and immigrants, documented or not. As I’ve mentioned before, I live in a town that has a thriving mushroom business and has a very large Hispanic population and culture. There are quite a few businesses that cater to that demographic, most likely to send money home to their relatives, as well as Mexican restaurants and grocery stores. Even the bank branch I go to has people who are bilingual. I’ve also hired a few to mow my lawn and clean my house at times, and I couldn’t care less if they are legal or not. They, some of whom are neighbors, are unfailingly polite in all their interactions with me (I wish I could say the same about some of my “real American” neighbors).

    I was reading just a short time ago that, along with the firing of the acting AG for daring to stand up against him, there was also a changing of the guard at ICE; even though both the fired one and his replacement were Obama appointees, the new director is the one who has been the actual enforcer of deportations, if I read that correctly (a so-called cop’s cop). This doesn’t bode well for my community.

    Just a few things I’m trying to do in my very limited fashion is to join with folks from my area as one of the “indivisible” groups that are appearing all over the country to go directly to the local offices of those in Congress who are supposed to be representing us. I somehow ended up belonging to a Bold Progressives Committee that supports Elizabeth Warren, and I just received in the mail a t-shirt proclaiming “I’m With the Resistance, Defeat Trump’s Agenda.” I’m going to order a yard sign that says “Hate Has No Home Here,” as well as in another five or so languages. They’re popping up in my neighborhood and my sister’s not far from here as well.

    Not much, I know; but, these are parlous times we are living in (I don’t know if that’s a quote from someone, but it keeps playing in my head).

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    • Excellent point, Kat Lib. Terrible things have not only happened or are happening, but future terrible things are in the offing — “thanks” to Trump.

      We all do what we can to fight Trump. Whether it’s a lot or not, it’s all good!

      And, yes, things can feel very personal when we know people from “groups” Trump has demonized, as you describe in your town. Heck, my younger (adopted) daughter is Latina, and she is very aware of and troubled by Trump’s bigotry despite being only nine. One of her friends has the “Hate Has No Home Here” sign you mentioned, on her parents’ lawn.

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      • Dave, I’ve been getting so many “This website is not responding” notifications that I’ve been wondering if you were banning me from this site. Only kidding, but it’s odd this has happened more and more since the election. Uh oh, now I’m starting to sound like a conspiracy theorist. 🙂

        By the way, I wish I could respond directly to every one of the comments here, because there have been so many great ones from all!

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        • Sorry, Kat Lib, that you’re still having some issues with the blog or your computer. You of course would never, ever be banned. 🙂

          Who knows when Trump will start taking aim at the Internet and social media. All those people opposing his rotten words and policies.

          And I agree — tons and tons of terrific comments!

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    • Thank you for the kind words, Angie! Glad you enjoyed the post!

      I’ve felt scared, too. Not even 1% as scared as refugees feel or what other Trump-demonized people and groups feel, but Trump’s words and actions will ultimately hurt everyone — including his supporters.

      Trump may indeed be impeached (after the Republican Congress gets a lot of the heartless things it wants), but Pence scares the heck out of me, too. More stable than Trump, but perhaps even more right-wing and intolerant.

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    • Ha ha! Verrry clever!

      A Lloyd Bentsen paraphrase: “Trump, I served with John Kennedy Toole. I knew Jack Kennedy Toole. Jack Kennedy Toole was a friend of mine. Trump, you’re no Jack Kennedy Toole.”

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  13. Dave,

    It was nice of the former president-elect (the only title I’ll give him) closed his blog with the most relevant reference, namely “It Can’t Happen Here”. 1984 was about the language, itself only a barometer. As a “Son of Minnesota”, I’m preparing this annotation of the work by the first American Nobel Prize winner in Literature. To the point: Here’s the early edition: http://mcgowansorg.ipage.com/marty3/idea/itcanthappen.html

    Two things to see: The “Historic Figures” are a reader’s guide to sort out the characters. Some selected “Quotes” are in section 4.

    I take some pride in my MN roots, as I’m but “two bacons” from Floyd B Olson, twice. Most notably, Elmer Benson was the MN gov who succeeded Olson, and attended my aunt’s wedding (when she married my best man). Sens Humphrey, McCarthy and Mondale were boyhood heros. I gifted my brother with a plaque “HHH slept here” for his now lake-home cottage bed.

    I’ve no particular Lewis’ connection, though with my wife, we did visit both the Lindbergh and Lewis homes on the same day a few years ago. Sauk Centre being halfway between my roots in Appleton MN and Lake Wobegon.

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    • Thank you for the comment, applemcg! For Trump, I definitely prefer the title “former president-elect” over “president.” 🙂

      Congratulations on the extensive annotation of the work of Sinclair Lewis — an author I like very much for “It Can’t Happen Here” and his incredible run of excellent 1920s novels: “Main Street,” “Babbitt,” “Arrowsmith,” “Elmer Gantry,” and “Dodsworth.” And you have impressive Minnesota roots!

      (I still have a Eugene McCarthy button from 1968. And, as you probably know, he was related to author Mary McCarthy, as well as actor Kevin McCarthy.)

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      • and the roots continue; I wasn’t so big a fan of “Clean Gene” as of Hubert. But my cousin, Rick Nolan, who in ’68 worked on Mondale’s staff was “all in” for McCarthy. Rick now represents the MN 8th, (Duluth, Iron Range) and was re-elected (by 2K votes) in a district Hillary _lost_ by 56K. He’s now being promoted for Gov. You may have seen Mark Dayton’s collapse at the podium at his State of the State.

        i’ve also (started) an annotation of Babbitt, but will now focus on “ICHH”`. The opening note will appear on w-p/applemcg.

        i’ve just reached out to the “Sinclair Lewis Society”, hq’d at IL State, to fix their contact info,

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        • Thanks, applemcg!

          I was too young to vote back then, and am not even sure how I got that McCarthy button. Given the choice between Nixon and Humphrey in November 1968, I certainly would have chosen the latter if I could vote.

          Good luck with the “Babbitt” annotation!

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          • Humphrey was chosen as the presidential candidate at the 1968 Democratic Party Convention despite having won ZERO primaries. McCarthy had won several, one of his wins inspiring LBJ, sitting president, to drop out of further consideration. Young people still interested in politics by traditional means enthusiastically supported Clean Gene– so naturally, all effort was made by party people to crush him flat. Though Democrats were then a sizable majority of registered voters, the lack of enthusiasm for candidate Humphrey after the 1968 Democratic Convention was obvious, and unbridgeable. The efforts of experts and professionals nationwide were ultimately unpersuasive.

            Of course, everything was totally different 48 years later, when Bernie ran.

            The nation is and was so irredeemably schizzy. LBJ’s election of 1964 was a landslide, the worst showing for the GOP since Alf Landon. There were, following, as there always foolishly are, think-pieces to be read all over regarding the imminent demise of of the Republican Party. Four years later, we got Nixon.

            Today, we can easily find similar think-pieces to fret over, and as always, they are wrong. The US is a two-party system, and the Democratic Party is the lifeboat of the American business interest. Now that a pirate has taken the wheel of the GOP yacht, that lifeboat will not be allowed to sink, or even to sink itself.

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            • jhNY, you cited astute/depressing parallels between the Dems in 1968 and 2016. That party just will not let a true progressive and/or true populist win. For president, we usually end up with centrist Dems or right-wing Republicans — hardly an equivalency.

              And, yes, Big Business likes to have the Dems around in order to support BB, but not quite as blatantly as the GOP does.

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              • I might have added, and probably should have, that though the Dem party people crushed both McCarthy and Sanders behind closed doors, neither would have won in the general election– but each would have kept the enthusiasm of the young inside, rather than outside the party. Would have paid dividends in a future that was largely the itinerary of Republicans, lurching ever rightward, without them, after 1968, and might have paid dividends in the future yet before us, if any.

                Perhaps Trump will inspire today’s young people to pay full attention to politics in ways my generation would not– and organize and work in practical ways within the wreck of what we like to call the Establishment. But I don’t see many signs of that possibility. I will defend the right to protest, but I will also point out, a Kent State march on Washington participant myself, that I actually think our own protests against the Vietnam War caused the pols of yesteryear to double down on resisting the resistors, and thus caused the war to last longer. And I believe the protests of today, if they go the way of Berkeley’s latest, might by just the ticket to a police state– though in fairness, any excuse might do.

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                • All interesting points, jhNY. Certainly Sanders as the 2016 Democratic nominee would have been great for the enthusiasm of his myriad young supporters — many of whom are now fighting like hell against Trump while also suspicious of how hard the Democratic establishment will ultimately fight against Trump. And I actually think Sanders would have had a shot at winning the unusual 2016 election. He had a lot of white working-class support, many of his supporters who ended up sitting out the race or voting for Jill Stein would have voted for him if he were the nominee, and I don’t think all the red-baiting stuff the GOP had prepared would have worked as well this time as it has in the past.

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                  • I voted for Bernie in the NY primary, and would have voted for him had he been the nominee, but I still hold my opinion– that he would not have won the general. The red-baiting stuff may not have worked as easily as it might have in elections past, but I think it would work well enough to beat him.

                    Had he gone up against Trump, he would have made many rhetorical points in debates, and won– the debates. But Crazy Old Bernie the Pinko, thank goodness, is a moniker we didn’t have to see all over every minute until Election Day. And we would have, had he risen to the level of threat to Trump, and I think it would have ruined his chances for victory.

                    Decades of red-baiting and and charged language in the media surrounding the word ‘socialist’ would have been a high hurdle to jump by anybody anytime. This election, once Trump sealed the deal with every stripe of reactionary, that high hurdle would have become a very high wall even Bernie could not best.

                    I did not follow the effect of Jill Stein on the outcome of the general– did she have enough votes in any state to have cost Hillary the state?

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                    • I hear you, jhNY, and — who knows — you might be right. Impossible to say. Yet Trump’s shocking closeness to Russia’s Putin didn’t hurt him. Not that Russia is really a communist state any more, but Putin used to be a communist “apparatchik.”

                      I don’t think Jill Stein cost Hillary any state. For one thing, votes for Stein were more than canceled out by the higher-vote-receiving libertarian Gary Johnson, who I assume mostly got votes from Republicans who couldn’t bring themselves to vote for Trump.

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        • applemcg, it’s nice to have another commenter with MN roots. While mine are mostly from the period of 1965 to early 1970s with my parents, they and their parents had lived in northeastern Minnesota, and I still have some cousins who hail from Minneapolis. My first political act was to ride a school bus from Des Moines, Iowa, where I was attending Drake University in 1968, to Beloit, Wisconsin, to canvass for McCarthy. We were all under the age of being able to vote, which was 21 at that time (Dave, that’s probably how you ended up with a McCarthy button). It was interesting, especially since we were better received in the rural area around Beloit, rather than in the city itself. However, when we stopped at a truck stop for dinner on the way back, there happened to be a TV on, which carried LBJ’s announcement that he wasn’t running for reelection, and we all erupted in cheers as though we saved the world! Well, we all know how that turned out!

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          • KatLib, must have just missed you on that trip. My sister, Meg, was at Marquette, her senior year; I’d planned a stop on my way from DC to MN. She was hosting at least a dozen young ladies of similar mission, at precisely the same time. I guess the primary was the following Tuesday. Thanks for remembering the LBJ announcement When I got home to St Paul, he was on the tube. My ’72 bumper sticker — a duo: “Don’t Blame Me for Watergate” — “I Voted for Hubert in ’68”. BTW, Northeastern MN, Duluth, Iron Range, North Shore, Boundary Waters. My cousin Rick Nolan represents the region as the MN 8th in Congress. a _yuge_ well of support for him to run for Gov in ’18. He won re-election by only 2K votes but with a 58K margin over Hillary in the district.

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            • I looked up the 8th District of MN and didn’t realize how large an area it encompasses. My parents grew up as close neighbors in Mountain Iron, which I was surprised to learn has a population of almost 2,900 today. They and their relatives had close associations with Biwabik (where Mom was born), Virginia, Duluth (where my dad’s first job was managing a Piggly Wiggly store that’s still there, and my mom’s brother wrote a sports column for the Duluth Times for many years). Best of all was that my father’s relatives owned three side-by-side cabins at Daisy Bay on Lake Vermilion. We spent many wonderful times staying up there for weekends or vacations. It was the first time I ever went canoe fishing and we even portaged across to Trout Lake — I should note that it was also the last time I ever went fishing of any kind! 🙂 It was there that my siblings and I took my parents’ ashes to scatter them in that lake, as I mentioned on one of the previous or two columns of Dave’s.

              Dave, another thanks to you for somehow triggering so many nice memories from the past, especially as we all negotiate these “unchartered waters” of the Trump presidential debacle!

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        • Those Sinclair Lewis novels were so good, Clairdelune. It’s a shame Lewis (at least until “It Can’t Happen Here” became timely again) wasn’t spoken about in recent years as much as some of his contemporaries: Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Woolf, etc.

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    • applemcg another well known personality Garrison Keillor is also from Minnisota and I am sure you know him.
      I miss his weekly show A Prairie Home Companion, his music his humorous truth.
      Right after the election he wrote an op-ed in Washington Post.
      I wish he continues writing more.

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      • bebe, GK is using my material . Note that Sauk Centre (Lewis’ home town) is halfway between in Appleton MN, and the little town that time forgot of Lake Wobegon. He really is shy. At the ’04 convention, I had the occasion to “carry his bags”, as my best man, Bob was his chauffeur. He was really pumped (as only he can be) to get involved with the prospect of limiting Bush to one term. When he found out Tucker Carlson would be joining a C-Span slot, he bowed out, not wanting to engage him. Sadly the Kerry loss trimmed his sails of enthusiasm.

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        • Amazing applemcg what a small world it is delightful tidbits of your friendship with GK.
          Surprised to read Mr. Keillor is a shy man. Enjoyed his story telling in PHC. True, not worth getting involved with Tucker at all, that man is all over the place and is totally insufferable.
          Perhaps you could convince Mr. Keillor to write more in various news papers.

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  14. “Another George: Orwell. Love, love, love the oppressors in 1984. I even tried doublethink, but”

    it took twice as long! Who has time for that?

    Which reminds me of an old joke, unrelated:

    Vacuum cleaner salesman: “Buy one of these! It will cut your housework in half.”

    “I’ll take two!”

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  15. It must be my imagination, because I cannot find the quote today, but somebody probably once said ‘The Democratic Party is the lifeboat of the American business interest.’

    Doesn’t mean there’s room in that boat for anybody else, once push comes to shove. In fact, that little boat, being nearer to the ocean’s surface, is an easier place from which to bash the truly drowning with a handy oar than the deck of the GOP yacht, its preferred conveyance, except in moments of extreme crisis, when the lifeboat must do.

    Of course, the oars are always in the hands of party people, who work for those that pay them. When the lifeboat is not needed by the American business interest, it is tied to the back of the GOP yacht by a very short piece of rope– which is convenient. Whenever business wants to show its even-handedness, it scatters money into the boat below. Not as much as the GOP yacht gets, not enough for a bigger boat, not nearly, but maybe enough for new paint.

    Yes, the Republicans are worse, shamelessly. But they don’t even bother trying to convince us that the yacht is there for anybody but paying passengers, and they’ve convinced the yahoos toiling below decks that for every shovel-full of coal, an immigrant gets his wings– and thus is free to fly. Elsewhere.

    Meanwhile, the Democrats make sad faces from their little boat, so that those they won’t actually help at least know they feel awful about it. They’d like for you to be home and dry, and would take you there, if only the other party, and the American business interest would let them. But they won’t, so they can’t.

    The captain of the yacht now is also the president. He believes in speed and straight ahead. What he doesn’t believe in: charts or rocks or icebergs.

    It’s good a lifeboat exists. But even better: an ark for all. And who’s building it? Not Noah. Not nobody.

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      • Thanks, bebe! A very funny Bill Maher bit — though I think he over-exaggerates Democrats’ political correctness/touchy-feelingness. 🙂

        Democrats do indeed need to rise up, and there is definitely no time to lose.

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        • Ho does, but at least often speaks the truth and have a big audience. Remember after DT started Birther movement, Maher tells him to show his birth certificate to prove he is not direct descendants from Orangutan and DT sued him for several million dollars .

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        • We have to resist. We must. The President of the United States is alienating the world. I’m noticing some very appropriate songs and references to songs herein. There’s been a couple running through my head as well: “For What It’s Worth” and “Eve of Destruction”.

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          • You’re absolutely right, Pat. There’s no choice but to resist — whether people do it through protests, contacting congresspeople, writing, or other things. And I agree that the current existential crisis makes one think of various songs — you gave two excellent examples. Other tunes that come to mind include the Clash’s “Complete Control” and Muse’s “Uprising.”

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          • The eastern world, it is explodin’,
            Violence flarin’, bullets loadin’,
            You’re old enough to kill but not for votin’,
            You don’t believe in war, but what’s that gun you’re totin’,
            And even the Jordan river has bodies floatin’,
            But you tell me over and over and over again my friend,
            Ah, you don’t believe we’re on the eve of destruction.

            Don’t you understand, what I’m trying to say?
            And can’t you feel the fears I’m feeling today?
            If the button is pushed, there’s no running away,
            There’ll be no one to save with the world in a grave,
            Take a look around you, boy, it’s bound to scare you, boy,
            And you tell me over and over and over again my friend,
            Ah, you don’t believe we’re on the eve of destruction.

            Yeah, my blood’s so mad, feels like coagulatin’,
            I’m sittin’ here, just contemplatin’,
            I can’t twist the truth, it knows no regulation,
            Handful of Senators don’t pass legislation,
            And marches alone can’t bring integration,
            When human respect is disintegratin’,
            This whole crazy world is just too frustratin’,
            And you tell me over and over and over again my friend,
            Ah, you don’t believe we’re on the eve of destruction.

            Think of all the hate there is in Red China!
            Then take a look around to Selma, Alabama!
            Ah, you may leave here, for four days in space,
            But when your return, it’s the same old place,
            The poundin’ of the drums, the pride and disgrace,
            You can bury your dead, but don’t leave a trace,
            Hate your next door neighbor, but don’t forget to say grace,
            And you tell me over and over and over and over again my friend,
            You don’t believe we’re on the eve of destruction.

            No, no, you don’t believe we’re on the eve of destruction.

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          • A great many of us resistors are crowded onto the coasts of the continent. As are our entertainment and media. It is tempting, if not irresistible, to imagine that what’s going on on either coast represents the rest of America, and it does, for those who agree. But for Trump supporters, this week is just as likely to look like a godsend. Right away he’s doing what he said. To everybody who thinks he’s deplorable, and thinks they’re deplorable.

            Trump supporters feel your pain. As pleasure.

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            • I hear you, jhNY. It seems like blue states live in a different reality than red states. But I truly believe the Trump administration is not going to materially help the non-rich in red states, other than to cater to the scary bigotry and misogyny of some red-state residents.

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              • I believe what you believe, but I also believe there are white people in this country who would miss a meal if they thought it would prevent a black man from receiving a slice of bread.

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                • You’re unfortunately right, jhNY. I guess part of that attitude involves many struggling white people wanting to feel superior to at least one group, and that group is often African-Americans. The “powers that be” just love that “divide and conquer” scenario. 😦

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            • I’m related to a lot of Republicans. A lot of them. And we love each other dearly. On the other hand, we don’t talk a lot about politics. In the case of my family, and also a close friend, I am aware they believe Trump’s bull-in-a-china-shop bravado these past couple of weeks is indicative of a strong leader. Kind of like marking his territory, so to speak. And the friend I mentioned – according to a Facebook post this morning – is very impressed with Trump’s firing of the AG. Again, we don’t talk a lot about politics. That’s why, even though this is not technically a political forum, I appreciate this opportunity provided by Dave this week. Next week, I’ll probably be all too ready to talk about books again. This week, I’m wrapping my head around the unfolding events. This weekend, however, I will hug and kiss and cuddle my two little granddaughters, and we’ll play Operation and Candy Land and watch cartoons … and the world will make sense again 🙂

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              • Wonderful comment, Pat.

                I don’t have many Republicans in my extended family (some fairly conservative Democrats, though) but I do have some GOP friends (“real life” and Facebook) and I also try not to get into too much political debate. I think people’s views, once they become adults, are rarely changeable.

                I and many others find Trump’s authoritarian “leadership” to be a sign of weakness rather than strength, but some people obviously feel differently. Those poor refugees are certainly not impressed. And I don’t think my late immigrant grandparents would be, either.

                And, yes, playing with our kids or grandkids — and reading books — is a very nice partial escape from all things Trump.

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              • Great PatD, fortunately I am from a family of liberals starting from my grandfather who passed before I was born.
                My DIL was so upset with Hillary`s loss now sometimes watches FOX, says she wants to know what they have up in their sleeves.

                But among my friends / neighbors or acquaintances I will rather choose a Conservative who is kind than some mean spirited liberal.
                Going back to those HP days I have seen many so called liberals who are quick to judge sometimes stalkers ( had my shares) in an attack mode than some conservatives.

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                • I agree, bebe — some liberals are mean-spirited (I had one as a boss for several years). Kindness is indeed crucial, whatever the political persuasion. (But I prefer a kind liberal over a kind conservative. 🙂 )

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    • jhNY, an eloquent/brilliant metaphorical description of how the Democratic Party is basically a “Republican Lite” party — with a few exceptions (such as Bernie Sanders). The Dems indeed show a bit more compassion, but are still too tied to/beholden to “Big Business.”

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      • I’m all for Bernie; many of the folks who vote Democratic are too. Problem is: the Democratic Party. Bernie has proved there is a dog food the dogs will eat; the professional Democrats believe the problem lies, even now, in the failure of dogs to prefer what they’re serving, which after all, is time-tested. It’s the same stuff they’ve been peddling since Bill C was a pup.

        Here’s another take on the parties I thought up a while ago.

        A Democrat and a Republican are walking on the beach. Suddenly they hear a drowning man shouting for help a hundred feet from shore.

        “Get that man a rope!” says the Democrat.

        “There’s no such thing as rope”, the Republican replies.

        “Of course there is. They sell ropes nearby!”

        “Okay, okay. There is such thing as rope”, admits the Republican. “But if we get him a rope today, he’ll just expect a rope every time he’s too lazy to swim in by himself.”

        The Democrat: “Fair enough. Let’s compromise. We’ll buy a fifty foot rope.”

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          • Assuming (and yes I know the danger there) you are actually curious, here’s what I remember about that dog ref:

            When Johnny Carson was relatively fresh on the late-night scene, one of the Tonight Show’s sponsors was Alpo, manufacturers of dog food. The spot was done ‘live’, and one night, no matter what was tried, or how often, nobody could get the dogs to eat what had been spooned into their bowl.

            Since then, I’ve seen the phrase ‘the dogs won’t eat the dog food’ crop up from time to time in political contexts, and have employed it myself likewise. I imagine it’s more or less what the production folk were frantically whispering to each other while, lights on, America watching, the non-consumption was taking place in real time on-air.

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            • Thanks, jhNY, for the interesting story behind that! Even back then in those less “foodie” days, those wise dogs were probably holding out for some premium dog food rather than the usual slop… 🙂

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  16. This horrible, self- destructive man cannot concentrate long enough to actually read any books, by his own admission. He is a dangerous man. I did find some humor in your post, Dave, well done. Humor is the elixir of life.

    If truth has no meaning then this Chump and his motley crew : Bannon, Conway, Spicer and his VP + are the opening act of the apocalypse.

    I was just a kid during Nixon’s demise. I think people who were following Watergate, his impeachment, etc. are feeling that there could be a connection, Chump could tape himself, his children as he does not use email, computers and does not trust, is clearly paranoid, so why not call the media fake when its easier to do this to hide numerous falsehoods, alternative facts, blatant LIES. It could be a Nixonian swan song to a deplorable man who is indeed showing his true colors. I do not give him 4 years. He will not serve a full term. A fellow marcher from the Women’s March in NYC told me she heard their are bettors in Las Vegas wagering on how long he will be in the oval office!

    These colors are full of anti-Semitism, anti-Muslim sentiment, they go against who we are as Americans. Holocaust Remembrance Day was last Friday and the mention of the Jewish people was not part of the White House Statement. Beyond despicable.

    Please see a relevant post on the President’s mental health issues in The Daily News from January 29th, 2017

    http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/shrinks-break-silence-president-trump-exhibits-traits-m-article-1.2957688

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    • Thank you, Michele! Such an eloquent, insightful comment. And, yes, if almost everything coming out of the Trump administration is lies, that — coupled with the administration’s and the Republican-controlled Congress’s destructive actions — is indeed an apocalyptic, existential threat.

      I looked at the Daily News piece, and Trump certainly could have some mental illness (I guess it depends on how mental illness is defined). But even if Trump is totally “sane,” or whatever the word is, he is an incredibly dangerous, despicable, bigoted man.

      Not sure if I want him impeached, though, because Mike Pence would be just as bad or worse, albeit in a less erratic way. That might lull some people into not fighting this administration tooth and nail, as is being done now by millions of people (often without enough help from too many spineless Democratic members of Congress).

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  17. This song from 10cc seems appropriate for this week, along with the YouTube video someone compiled of it recently. Here are the lyrics:

    I Wanna Rule the World
    10cc
    I want to be a boss
    I want to be a big boss
    I want to boss the world around
    I want to be the biggest boss
    That ever bossed the world around
    I want to do it right
    I want to do it right away
    I want to do it right now
    I want to do it right away
    I want to do it now
    Don’t want to be a dancer in the Bolshoi Ballet
    Don’t want to work for daddy
    In daddy’s shop, 0K
    I get confused, so confused
    I get a pain, I get a pain up here in the Shirley Temples
    What you gonna do
    How you gonna do it
    What you gonna do
    How you gonna do it
    Little by little, ooh
    Little by little, bit by bit
    Sssh, not too loud, don’t tell everybody
    Don’t give away the game
    Oh, I ain’t quite ready to reveal my campaign
    This is not the time
    My hero’s are alive and well in a cave
    I’m keeping them on ice in suspended animation
    Till the very right occasion comes along
    To our rally come along
    Come along to our rally
    Come along to our rally come along
    To our rally come along
    Come along to our rally
    Come along to our rally come along
    A Brave new world will rise from the ashes
    And there upon a rock titanic
    I’ll cast a giant shadow on the face of the deep
    And never again will they dare to call me
    A freckled, spotty, specky, four eyed, weedy, little creep
    No more tremblin’ and quakin’ in the gym
    No more come on fellas, let’s get him
    What you gonna do
    How you gonna do it
    What you gonna do
    How you gonna do it
    Little by little, ooh
    Little by little, bit by bit
    Little by little, ooh, ooh
    Little by little, bit by bit
    Bit by bit, bit by bit
    Everyone’s going to be free
    But they’ll have to agree to be free
    They’ll have to agree to be less free than me
    ‘Cause I rule the world you see
    So wait for the army of kiddy-winkies
    And terrible tiny tots
    In armored school buses
    Firing poison pea-shooters
    And sinking their milk teeth into your thighs
    Delapsus resurgam when I fall I shall rise
    I want to be a boss
    I want to be a big boss
    I want to boss the world around
    I want to be the biggest boss
    That ever bossed the world around
    Songwriters: Lol Creme / Kevin Godley / Graham Gouldman
    I Wanna Rule the World lyrics © EMI Music Publishing, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Schubert Music

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    • So relevant and appropriate, bobess48! Thanks for posting the lyrics and the link (full of vivid images)! And my feelings about Trump can understatedly be expressed with the title of another 10cc song: “I’m Not in Love.” 🙂

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      • Oh Clairdelune what a state to live through those days all over again.
        This is happening too soon and it is only ten days of DT`s administration.
        Now we get Steve Bannon as President and Kellyanne Conway as the sidekick Vice President.

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        • It’s as if the gates of Hell have been open and the worst nightmares haunting a civil society are pouring out… the evil stench is poisoning the air. A close relative is facing death because the anti-science trolls running things have defunded ALL scientific research including medical, which was keeping my relative alive as he was enrolled in a research project. Without it, he has no other options.

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          • So sorry about your relative, Clairdelune. Trump and his crew are and will be literally causing people’s deaths. It’s all hellish and nightmarish, as you say.

            And you’re right about Bannon. Plus there are also other Trump appointees/nominees as scary or scarier than DT — Pence, Price, DeVos, Sessions, etc. Not to mention the Republicans — such as Paul Ryan — supporting Trump as all their far-right-wing wishes come true. What an immoral, revolting bunch.

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          • This is happening too soon too fast it is only ten days onto Donald Trump`s Presidency. Steve Bannon and Kellyanne Conway have taken over .
            They together with Trump have Hardly any education with a link to white supremacist taking the Nation is going to those Hitler/ Mussolini era.

            My Husband is a Scientist and all the scientific research has to take a back seat now, Trump is going to cut all federal finding of scientific Research. But Scientists are resilient group they are unstoppable hope is all we have.

            Come on America gather all the information to impeach Donald Trump and I am counting down to those days.

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            • Things ARE moving fast, bebe. But I guess people can do a lot of things quickly when they have an awful agenda and don’t want to “study” much before taking actions.

              You’re right — it’s all so dismaying. The white supremacy, the anti-science, and more.

              I still worry about Pence being worse than Trump if there’s an impeachment.

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              • I think their intention is to induce resistance whiplash. We will spend all our energy putting out fires and on righteous indignation while they are busy with their newest measure that we’ll find out about after the fact.

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                  • bebe, I totally agree that they’re using a distraction strategy — and that Trump and his Trumpkins are having an absolute ball sticking it to liberals, women, minorities, people from other countries, and others.

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                • You’re absolutely right, bobess48. They’re hoping for resistance whiplash and resistance fatigue. Don’t think they’re going to get it. But they’ll still do a huge amount of damage — and, as you note, some of it will be done in secret or way below the radar until it comes out.

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                  • This stuff is not new, but it is coming faster than before, by design, as Bobess48 has written–

                    The aide said that guys like me were “in what we call the reality-based community,” which he defined as people who “believe that solutions emerge from your judicious study of discernible reality.” I nodded and murmured something about enlightenment principles and empiricism. He cut me off. “That’s not the way the world really works anymore.” He continued “We’re an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality. And while you’re studying that reality—judiciously, as you will—we’ll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that’s how things will sort out. We’re history’s actors … and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do.”

                    Suskind, Ron (2004-10-17). Faith, Certainty and the Presidency of George W. Bush. The New York Times Magazine.

                    While the “reality-based” are squawking about your last outrage, make another three!

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                    • So true, jhNY. 😦 It unfortunately seems like being based in reality these days is overrated and, well, wimpy. The “alternative facts” brigade is almost always much more ruthless.

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                • I hear you, bebe, but I think the low-key/Boy Scout-like Pence’s anti-humanist views are even farther to the right than Trump’s when it comes to things like gay rights and women’s rights. Then third-in-line-for-the-presidency Paul Ryan is cruel and morally bankrupt.

                  Yes, Bernie would slaughter Pence in a debate!

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            • Amen to that, bebe. My relative would be already dead by now, the research project has kept him alive and functioning normally for a few years and there was always hope for a permanent treatment, but now all hope is fading away. His is faced with a cruel choice: certain death, or a possibility of survival but at the price of blindness.
              If there is a Hell, there must be a special place for those who are responsible for such inhumanity.
              Best wishes and my thanks to your scientist husband – scientists of probity have always been my heroes.

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    • 10cc also had a song out with these appropriate-to-circumstance lyrics:

      You don’t know how to play the game
      You cheat
      You lie
      You make me wanna cry
      You make me wanna cry
      Cry…

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      • Actually, “Cry” was by Godley and Creme, one half of the lineup that recorded “I Wanna Rule the World” along with everything else up through the album, ‘How Dare You.’ The other half of the band, Eric Stewart and Graham Gouldman (famous back in the 60’s for writing the hits “Look Through Any Window” and “Bus Stop” for The Hollies, “For Your Love” for The Yardbirds and “No Milk Today” for Herman’s Hermits) carried on under the name 10cc (their next album, ‘Deceptive Bends’ included “The Things We Do for Love”) while Godley & Creme continued as a duo and embarked on video production as well. Godley also went on to produce music videos for other people as well, such as the Beatles “reunion” video of “Real Love”. “Cry” was the first MTV era hit for them with the video hit component as well.

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        • Geez– so much for a drafty memory. I knew this, as I still own the lp, and then, looking up the lyrics today via searchwords ’10cc cry’ my google coughed up what I was looking for, without correcting me, and I went along.

          Somehow I never knew Eric Stewart and Graham Gouldman were the writers behind those 60’s hits you listed, all of which I loved in my impressionable youth. I guess, where the Hollies are concerned, I preferred to believe they wrote what they sang. I knew better re the Yardbirds, as that tune has always been cited as a commercial move too far– the reason blues sorta-purist Clapton left the band.

          Thanks for letting me know!

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  18. DAVID MUIR: You’ve heard the critics who say that would break all international law, taking the oil. But I wanna get to the words …

    (OVERTALK)

    DAVID MUIR: … that you …

    PRESIDENT TRUMP: Wait, wait, can you believe that? Who are the critics who say that? Fools.

    DAVID MUIR: Let, let me …

    PRESIDENT TRUMP: I don’t call them critics. I call them fools.

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    • Thanks so much, Pat! You are very kind. (Unlike Trump. 🙂 ) But, yes, it helps to try to laugh a little amid all the misery Trump is bringing to the U.S. and world.

      I’ve always wanted this blog to be not that political (unlike my newspaper column), but Trump makes it hard for anyone not to discuss and denounce him and his actions. Still, there will be many weeks my blog posts will not mention Trump. (Commenters are welcome to mention him any week.)

      Thanks again!

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  20. Talk about timing: I bought myself the complete ‘Twilight Zone’ set with some Christmas money and just watched an episode from Season 4, the season where the show expanded to one-hour from its usual 30 minute time slot (it returned to the half hour slot for its fifth and final season). This one features the young Dennis Hopper as a wannabe Fuehrer who gets a little coaching from Adolph himself:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/He's_Alive

    Anyway, Dennis spouts out phrases like, “Are we going to allow vermin from foreign shores to infect us?” He almost says something about making America great again. He also talks about the whites as the newly oppressed minority. The verbiage sounded uncannily familiar and chilling. I’m sure Rod Serling is turning over in his grave right about now.

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    • Wow, another prescient look at a Trump-like figure! “The Twilight Zone” definitely tackled plenty of social issues directly or allegorically — as did later shows such as “Star Trek.” It’s very impressive how well the great “TTZ” holds up after more than 50 years. And, as you know, it featured plenty of actresses/actors — such as Hopper, William Shatner, and Elizabeth Montgomery — who later became famous.

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      • Oh yeah, I’ve seen plenty of familiar faces and names. Elizabeth Montgomery, as you mentioned, who, along with Charles Bronson, are two survivors of a war that ended in nuclear devastation and fought on opposite sides, now with nothing left to fight over, forced to survive together, for one. Also, on the Dennis Hopper episode, one of his cohort Nazis is played by one-time actor and future director, Paul Mazursky, who later directed ‘An Unmarried Woman’, ‘Harry and Tonto’, ‘Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice’ and many more films. The episode I saw just before it included another future ‘Star Trek’ crewman James Doohan aka Scotty, without his Scots accent. Leonard Nimoy and George Takei are also in episodes as well as Shatner.

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        • I didn’t know other future “Star Trek” cast members (besides Shatner) were on “The Twilight Zone”! Impressive!

          And, when I clicked on the link earlier in your previous comment, I had wondered if Paul Mazursky was THAT Paul Mazursky.

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  22. “Dave, is it OK that I call you Dave, since you are only one of the hoi polloi that is not anywhere near as great as I am. My favorite book is The Bible, especially No. 2 Corinthians (that 2nd Corinthians nonsense is only put forth by those stupid elites). My favorite novel is “All Quiet on the Western Front,” and I’ve tried to put that into my policy to not let any Middle Eastern Muslims into this country (those ridiculous protesters don’t understand that I’m keeping America safe by not letting any of those potential terrorists into our country)! And those women protesters last weekend were NOT bigger than my hugest ever Inauguration”!

    Insincerely yours.
    Donald J. Drumpf

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  23. The most frightening aspect of this post, as witty and insightful as it is, is that it is just a hair’s breadth of exaggeration away from the truth. He is so predictable, so easy to satirize, so easy to laugh at, so engrossing (and the ‘gross’ element of that word is intentional) while at the same time, like multiple car collisions, difficult to look away from. It’s extremely sobering when we think that we are in the direct path of this wild, erratic, reckless driver. Like all narcissists he is getting what he wants, which is attention. I wish we could retroactively limit him to his allotted fifteen minutes of fame.

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    • Thank you, bobess48! You are dead-on correct — one doesn’t have to exaggerate much to satirize Trump. He’s a total caricature in real life, albeit an extraordinarily dangerous one. And, as you allude to, he has to be LOVING every second of the attention he’s getting as he plunges the U.S. and the world into chaos. To call Trump mean-spirited would be a huge understatement. 😦

      I appreciate the very eloquent analysis by you.

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  24. I’m reliving a nightmare – I cannot believe that nearly at the end of my life i find myself under the same conditions as when I was a child – every day I cringe at the echo in my mind of the jackboots that were part of my nightmares at age 6 – the latest horror story at the airport has only made things worse.
    The quote attributed to Sinclair Lewis says it best: “When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.”
    It’s here, in its full malignant force.
    Thank you for your brilliant post; it made me smile, a rare gift these days. You captured perfectly the disjointed thought processes of the person who is supposed to lead our country. Terrifying.
    I really hate the thought that I may die before seeing the end of this nightmare – I hope to leave knowing that my children and grandchildren are again free to live in the light of day.

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    • So sorry, Clairdelune, that you have to relive this after what you went through as a child. Trump is indeed a fascist or near-fascist with strong echoes of the unspeakably horrible Nazi regime.

      Yes, that Sinclair Lewis quote was so prescient — as was his entire “It Can’t Happen Here” novel.

      Thank you for your eloquent, sobering comment. I really do hope this nightmare is over in four years, or partly over in two years if the Democrats can somehow wrest Congress from the GOP. A tall order given voter suppression, gerrymandering, skewed coverage by much of the corporate media, and the ruthless Republicans’ willingness to say and do anything while many Democrats remain spineless or too “nice” to effectively fight back.

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      • Yes, it’s so infuriating to see the Democrats being so passive and conciliatory. One cannot make a deal with the devil. The senators have already caved in by voting in favor of some absurd appointments… they do seem spineless. I don’t know what it takes to make them stand up and fight when it’s called for. Yes, the only faint hope is that enough voters are angry to vote heavily in two years.

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        • “Passive” — that’s the word, despite occasional spasms of tough talk usually not backed by tough action. (Such as Elizabeth Warren, Sherrod Brown, and other liberal Democrats supporting some of Trump’s vile cabinet nominees, as you alluded to.)

          “One cannot make a deal with the devil” — exactly! And the Republicans proved that total opposition can be a winning strategy.

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          • Hope you will read my comment above beginning “It must be my imagination..” at the moment, it’s third down from the top. I have put to virtual paper my thoughts on this topic, and would be very happy if you’d take a look.

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        • Hope you will read my comment above beginning “It must be my imagination..” at the moment, it’s third down from the top. I have put to virtual paper my thoughts on this topic, and would be very happy if you’d take a look.

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  25. Donald Trump’s stunning first major interview as president, annotated ( with David Muir)

    “…….I said it. And I said it strongly because what’s going on with voter fraud is horrible. That’s number one. Number two, I would’ve won the popular vote if I was campaigning for the popular vote. I would’ve gone to California where I didn’t go at all. I would’ve gone to New York where I didn’t campaign at all.

    I would’ve gone to a couple of places that I didn’t go to. And I would’ve won that much easier than winning the electoral college. But as you know, the electoral college is all that matters. It doesn’t make any difference. So, I would’ve won very, very easily. But it’s a different form of winning. You would campaign much differently. You would have a totally different campaign. So, but …”

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      • That topic notion, made in jest, might actually be worth exploring for real– though what intrigues me most about it as I don’t have much of a list in mind already, besides the obvious candidates of Karl May and Sax Rohmer.

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        • Thanks, jhNY! I’m trying to think of other fiction writers with fascist tendencies. There are certainly a number of fiction writers who often or occasionally display(ed) bigoted and/or very conservative views: Ayn Rand, Orson Scott Card, T.S. Eliot, Ezra Pound, William F. Buckley Jr., etc.

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  29. Oh my! This is a masterpiece. I want to quote the lines that made me laugh, turn from computer to keep on laughing, then move on and start the titter-guffaw process all over again. To simplify my complete enthusiasm and appreciation, I quote below the sole line that did NOT elicit a laugh:

    “It can’t happen here? It already has.”

    And now I’ll quote Johnny Mercer: You’re just too marvelous, too marvelous for words,

    Maggie

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