Misty the Cat: Mentioning Novels Isn’t Novel for Me

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The Sun Also Rises on my kitty self. (Photo by Dave the biped.)

I, Misty the cat, have returned to write another guest post about “books, books, books.” Which sounds like a chicken saying “buk, buk, buk.” Why did the chicken cross The Road? To get to the other side of Cormac McCarthy’s 2006 novel.

Not funny was last month’s news that the late McCarthy had a relationship with a girl that started when she was 16 and he was 42. That’s sleazy Lolita territory, which reminds me that Vladimir Nabokov also authored Pale Fire about a blaze slathered with enough sunscreen to prevent it from getting burned. Not exactly an Elin Hilderbrand “beach read.” Nor was Andre Dubus III’s novel House of Sand and Fog, which I could’ve pierced with a beach umbrella if I had it in paperback rather than hardcover. I, the feline writing this post, live in the House of Broadband Blog. Actually an apartment, but the wifi is decent.

Late autumn isn’t swimming weather, but November 30 was the 150th anniversary of L.M. Montgomery’s birth. She of course wrote the iconic Anne of Green Gables, an exceptional YA novel. YA means Young Adult as well as Yowling Adult, which describes Dave after I grabbed his laptop to write this post. He’ll get over it, especially when I give him a newfangled quill pen and parchment paper to scribble this week’s shopping list. First seven items: cat food, cat chow, cat cuisine, cat edibles, cat victuals, cat nourishment, and cat sustenance.

Moving to my book list, I recently read Nelson DeMille for the first time — his novel The Quest. Quite exciting once I got over my first disappointment about the book’s tired trope of focusing on white visitors to a “third world” country — and my second disappointment that the quest was for a holy relic rather than a cat treat at peak freshness. A good chunk of DeMille’s story takes place in Ethiopia, where injera is a food staple. That pancake-like bread is slightly spongy, so a big-enough piece would make for an excellent cat bed. But my local pet store only sells cat beds with inedible cushioning; Goodnight Moon will never be the same.

Speaking of children’s books, The Cat in the Hat‘s title character is a rather slim kitty — certainly slimmer than me, a feline who starts his midnight snacking at noon. I’ve read that Dr. Seuss based his tall feline’s look on the Uncle Sam he had previously drawn in his political cartoons, which reminds me that I’m weighing a presidential run in 2028. To practice for my future time in the Oval Office, I occasionally walk in circles.

My favorite novels with at least some political themes, schemes, dreams, teams, screams, and memes? Among them are Robert Penn Warren’s All the King’s Men, George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four, J.K. Rowling’s The Casual Vacancy, Stephen King’s The Dead Zone, and Miguel de Cervantes’ Don Trumpote, co-starring Donald Trump’s loyal squire JD Vanza. Cervantes lived in Spain during the same circa-1600 era that James Clavell’s Japan-set novel Shogun unfolded. Little-known fact: Spain and Japan are walking distance from each other despite being 6,600 miles apart. Admittedly, the walk would take a year or two, even for a fast cat like me. The Inedible Journey without an injera cat bed.

Anyway, this month begins The Incredible Journey known as the march to the holiday season, meaning I might reread A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, who invented the CD when he initialed a document. There’s also Fannie Flagg’s excellent A Redbird Christmas, John Grisham’s so-so Skipping Christmas, and the classic song “I’m Dreaming of a White Pearl Harbor Day” — which you can hear on a CD player that Dickens also invented.

Yesterday, December 7, was Pearl Harbor Day. Today, December 8, is the seventh anniversary of when I was adopted into my current home! That was in 2017, the year Aaron Judge hit 52 home runs as a rookie. Or was it 52 apartment runs as a rookie? No idea what his living arrangements were back then, or why Edith Wharton wrote The House of Mirth rather than The Yurt of Mirth. Maybe because her protagonist Lily Bart didn’t live in Mongolia?

Getting back to the festive season, my Misty the Cat…Unleashed book would make a great holiday gift this month for the kitty lovers in your life. I co-wrote it with my human peep Dave, sort of like how Woodward and Bernstein co-wrote All the President’s Cats about the Watergate scandal, Richard Nixon, and his 1974 resignation — with no mention of cats. Surprisingly, Nixon didn’t blog about any of this at the time.

Dave will reply to comments, because I’m in serious pre-winter training to vigorously shred the wrapping paper on holiday gifts.

Misty the cat says: “Today’s my 7th adoption anniversary. I appreciate the celebratory lights.”

Dave’s comedic 2024 book — the part-factual/part-fictional/not-a-children’s-work Misty the Cat…Unleashed — is described and can be purchased on Amazon in paperback or on Kindle. It’s feline-narrated! (And I, Misty, say Amazon reviews are welcome. 🙂 )

This 90-second promo video for Dave’s book features a talking cat: 🙂

In addition to this weekly blog, Dave writes the 2003-started/award-winning “Montclairvoyant” topical-humor column every Thursday for Montclair Local. The latest piece — which includes a “Twelve Days of Christmas” theme — is here.

94 thoughts on “Misty the Cat: Mentioning Novels Isn’t Novel for Me”

  4. So, Misty, did Dave put you up to this shameless promotion?

    Of course I’d buy your book if it was on Kobo, but alas Dave says only on amazon, which I have been boycatting for 10 years.

    Of course nothing will get here in time for Christmas. We are almost 4 weeks into a postal strike, with no resolution in sight.

    Also, Fedex & others have stopped taking some parcels headed to Canada due to overwhelming demand. It’s a catastrophe!

    Anyway, if you don’t do another scratching post before the holidays (I’m sure your human will) I wish you a good one , and may Santa Claws be good to you!

    🎶 Deck the halls with bowls of tuna 🎶

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    • Thank you, Resa, for the great seriocomic comment! 🙂

      I’ve heard about the postal strike. Hugely inconvenient, of course, but I hope the workers get the salary and benefits they deserve.

      A “scratching post” — hilarious! 😂 I think Misty plans to write his next one in February, which that cat will go out on a limb to say will possibly be one of the 12 best months of 2025.

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      • Thanks Dave. At least my granddaugher and her twin brother ended their lists with thanks for all you give me and I love you Santa. Yes sleigh drawn cats would be a nice change. Here’s to both you and Misty and the best Christmas ever. I’m still waiting for Muppy cat to come home, but I think he’s found another owner. I hope his new adopted home includes someone as good as you and as sweet as Misty. Wiley Jones and Peppercorn are still around so that’s a blessing. Susi

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  12. Happy Anniversary, Misty, and thank goodness you mentioned it. It would have been catastrophic if we hadn’t all got the chance to celebrate it. Excellent texts you’ve listed above, although rather light on purring protagonists, if you don’t mind me saying so. George Orwell takes the prize in this, with a book dedicated to a region dedicated to our feline friends, his ‘Homage to Catalonia.’. Then there’s T S Eliot’s wonderful compendium of cats, ‘Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats.’ The Cheshire Cat in ‘Alice in Wonderland’ gets far too much publicity for my liking, for a too-cool cat presumably off his head on catnip, while the sensible Dinah, Alice’s friend, stays in the background but gets frequent mentions from her human companion. As for your own unleashed offering, Misty, I’m sure it wouldn’t be out of place with these and other texts mentioned in the comments here. Have a purrfect week! 🙂

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  14. I love when you take over Dave’s blog, Misty. You have so much to say that resonates with me. (I share your disappointment with Cormac – YIKES)

    I believe that titles of the books that follow should be revised to reflect the true meaning of the narrative.

    The Great Cat Gatsby
    To Kill a Mockingcat
    Cat on the Road
    Pride and Prejudice and Cats
    The Catcher in the Cat
    Cat and Peace
    One Hundred Years of Solitude with Cats
    The Cat’s Tale

    Happy Anniversary Day, Misty!! I’m celebrating with you on my side of the border. Meow Meow Meow!!!!!

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  15. Happy forever home anniversary, Misty. In your review, you missed, Christmas Carols for Cats by Julie Hope and The Christmas Cat: Whisker’s Holiday Adventure by La Belle Rouge.

    I thought the second one was Whiskey’s Holiday Adventure, which would be a better title but would require giving the cat a better name.

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  16. “He’ll get over it, especially when I give him a newfangled quill pen and parchment paper to scribble this week’s shopping list.” Oh, Misty. That list is especially telling. I still say you should run for President. Keep practicing your circles.

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    • Thank you, Melissa! Misty feels cat food puts the “super” in supermarket (though we often get his food at a local independent pet store). To truly practice his circles — ha! 😂 — Misty should listen to Joni Mitchell sing “The Circle Game.” 🙂

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  19. A merry Christmas to you Misty and of course your staff. Frankly I think these authors you mentioned deserve very little in their stockings for not putting ‘CAT’ up there in their titles. The books would have been so much better if only they had…..

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    • Thank you, Ada! Misty greatly appreciates the anniversary wishes! (And, for some reason, he’s busily listening to The Clash song “The Magnificent Seven.” 🙂 )

      Yes, rereading the atmospheric “A Christmas Carol” isn’t a bad idea. I’ve read it only once myself.

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