
Edgemont Park in my town of Montclair, New Jersey. (Photo by me, 9-21-2024.)
I’m doing something different for this week’s blog post — reprinting my local “Montclairvoyant” humor column from this past Thursday, September 19. Why? This particular Montclair Local piece melds news in my New Jersey town with a literature theme. Some of my local references will not be understood by non-Montclair residents, but I think the column will still be an entertaining read as various famous novels and authors are mentioned.
My weekly Local column is always in a question-and-answer format — with me doing both the asking and the replying. So, I’m conversing with myself. Obviously, I have some psychological issues. π
As usual with my weekly Sunday literature blog posts, there’s a link to my weekly Thursday humor column at the very end of today’s piece, where you can see local reader comments and my replies. Some weeks just a few exchanges, other weeks many.
DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Montclair’s government operates under the Faulkner Act, which was explained at a recent meeting hosted by our two councilors-at-large. That Act gives a township manager lots of power, right?
Sincerely,
Clare Mont
Too much power, as granted by an Act named after late Montclair mayor Bayard Faulkner rather than author William Faulkner, whose 1932 novel Light in August chronicled 31 Montclair sunrises last month.
DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Not true. But the Faulkner Act makes me think that other forms of local government could be named after novelists. Some examples, please?
Sincerely,
Nitwit for Lit
I’ll start with the Jane Austen Act, which mandates that 21st-century councilors wear clothes from the 1810s and put a needed-but-expensive new Municipal Building and Police Headquarters in Mansfield Park.
DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
There’s no such park in our town. What about the Stephenie Meyer Act, named after the author whose Twilight vampire novels have a high school setting?
Sincerely,
There Will Be Blood
That Act forbids Council meetings from taking place the same evening as Back to School Night, which was held at Montclair High on September 11. So, none of the impressive teachers that evening wore Dracula baseball caps.
DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Are Dracula baseball caps even a thing? What about the Toni Morrison Act, named after the author of such novels as Beloved and Jazz?
Sincerely,
Sula Solomon
That form of government prevented the talented musicians at September 14’s Montclair Jazz Festival from going into executive session.
DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
A day later, the September 15-to-October 15 National Hispanic and Latino Heritage Month began, and it’s being celebrated in various ways in and near Montclair. Your thoughts as the parent of a Guatemalan-American daughter?
Sincerely,
Latina Heritage, Too!
I’m reminded of the Gabriel Garcia Marquez Act that allows a resident’s OPRA request to remain hidden for One Hundred Years of Solitude before the requested public records are released.
DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
That seems exaggerated. On September 18, a special election was held to fill the seat of the late U.S. Rep. Donald Payne Jr. in a congressional district that includes part of Montclair. Is there a form of government that evokes a political novel?
Sincerely,
G.O. Peeved
Yes, the Robert Penn Warren Act named after the All the King’s Men author born early enough (1905) to walk from his native Kentucky to New York City for the 1910 opening of the old Penn Station.
DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Penn Station and Robert Penn Warren are not related. What about the Marcel Proust Act?
Sincerely,
Remembrance of Pings Past
That Act, named after an author known for his LONG multi-volume opus In Search of Lost Time, codifies Council meetings that last more than five hours — a frequent occurrence in Montclair. After midnight, a pumpkin turns into another pumpkin.
DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Interesting take on Cinderella’s transportation. Is there a form of government that allows a resident to make a Council meeting public comment when not physically present at a Council meeting? (A resident currently can’t do that in Montclair.)
Sincerely,
Peak Speak
The Alexander Pushkin Act allows virtual commenting, but only if the resident has the same name as Pushkin characters Eugene Onegin or Tatyana Larina.
DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Seems rather limiting. Other current councilors besides Montclair’s at-large ones have also held or will soon hold community meetings. Is there an Act besides the Faulkner law that encourages those welcome meetings?
Sincerely,
Feedback to the Future
Not the Anne Bronte Act, because that author wrote The Tenant of Wildfell Hall rather than The Councilor at Edgemont Park House.
My comedic 2024 book — the part-factual/part-fictional/not-a-children’s-work Misty the Cat…Unleashed — is described and can be purchased on Amazon in paperback or on Kindle. It’s feline-narrated! (And Misty says Amazon reviews are welcome. π )

This 90-second promo video for my book features a talking cat: π
In addition to this weekly blog, I write the 2003-started/award-winning “Montclairvoyant” topical-humor column every Thursday for Montclair Local. The latest piece — which is reprinted in the above blog post — is here.


















