Fictional People Are Getting Deported, Too

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The Trump regime’s cruel deportation program has extended to fictional characters. And this program is widespread: affecting characters from the United States or other countries, characters who live in the present or lived in the past, etc. Because novels can make readers smarter and more empathetic, most of today’s Republicans feel many characters have to be removed from the pages where they live — including pages in some of my favorite literature.

I first heard about character deportations when The Grapes of Wrath‘s Tom Joad, who develops a stronger class consciousness as John Steinbeck’s book goes on, was yanked from the novel by Trump’s masked ICE agent goons. Determined to find Tom, the rest of the Joad family traveled east instead of west and ended up picking crops in New York City’s Times Square. Needless to say, not much was growing through the pavement.

ICE agents also plucked Jane Eyre from Charlotte Bronte’s novel because she’s a determined young woman too independent-minded for Trump’s taste, and doesn’t have big blonde hair like many Fox News hosts do. So, U.S. Secretary of Education/wrestling biz wacko Linda McMahon substituted for Jane as little Adele’s teacher, and Rochester instead fell in love with a Disney princess.

Of course, characters of color are most at risk of the Trump regime’s deportations, and Bigger Thomas of Richard Wright’s Native Son was no exception. Plus his attorney is a communist! With Bigger no longer around as a client, that lawyer represented Jane Eyre as she tried to return to her novel, but Jane instead got sent to Florida’s “Alligator Alcatraz” two centuries before that repugnant concentration-camp-like jail was built.

Clara del Valle Trueba was also deported — from The House of the Spirits. After being kicked out of Isabel Allende’s novel, the clairvoyant Clara took her knowledge of Trump’s guilt in the sickening Epstein pedophile scandal and started a blog about that. Because Clara had been in a magic-realism book, the blog levitated out of her computer screen — which puzzled WordPress customer support.

In Daniel Deronda, Daniel D. and Mirah Lapidoth and Ezra Mordecai Cohen are idealistic proto-Zionists rather than the U.S.-armed genocidal Zionists in Israel’s current leadership who are mass-murdering Palestinian civilians, so the three were deported when entering a government office to register as George Eliot characters. That left Gwendolen Harleth wandering around Eliot’s 19th-century novel, searching for a Burger King in which to have lunch.

Atticus Finch? Taken from To Kill a Mockingbird for being an attorney with integrity. This came after some Trump regime hesitation to deport Finch because author Harper Lee had the same last name as Confederate traitor Robert E. Lee, the Civil War general greatly admired by right-wingers for fighting to defend the appalling institution of slavery. But Atticus did ultimately get booted from To Kill a Mockingbird before joining Donna Tartt’s The Goldfinch novel starring a painting of a bird sharing his last name.

In J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter books, every character except the ultra-evil Lord Voldemort was deported to make the series more palatable for Republican fascists. One of the characters, Nearly Headless Nick, went on to successfully lose 10 pounds by becoming Completely Headless Nick.

But no character was spared from deportation in Arundhati Roy’s The God of Small Things because Trump erroneously thought the title of that novel referred to his fingers and his…

Misty the cat says: “Where’s my teen human? Oh, she went away to college last weekend.”

My comedic 2024 book — the part-factual/part-fictional/not-a-children’s-work Misty the Cat…Unleashed — is described and can be purchased on Amazon in paperback or on Kindle. It’s feline-narrated! (And Misty says Amazon reviews are welcome. 🙂 )

This 90-second promo video for the book features a talking cat: 🙂

I’m also the author of a 2017 literary-trivia book…

…and a 2012 memoir that focuses on cartooning and more.

In addition to this weekly blog, I write the 2003-started/award-winning “Montclairvoyant” topical-humor column every Thursday for Montclair Local. The latest piece — about the spending to date of money authorized by my town’s massive 2022 school bond referendum — is here.

135 thoughts on “Fictional People Are Getting Deported, Too”

  1. This is razor-sharp satire—by deporting fictional characters, you expose the real fear of empathy, thought, and integrity.
    The literary collisions are hilarious and unsettling, which is exactly why they work so well.
    Brilliant piece—do visit my blog too and share your thoughts; I’d love to keep this dialogue alive.

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  2. Your imagination just deported reality itself — this satire hits harder than truth ever could.
    The way you blend fiction, politics, and claws-out humor is nothing short of genius.
    Would love for you to check out my latest blogs too — your thoughts always elevate the conversation.

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    • Thank you, navasolanature! My apologies for not seeing your comment until today. Satirizing the evil Trump regime is unfortunately almost too easy. 😦 And sorry I kind of ruined “The God of Small Things” for you. 🙂

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  6. Remember Remember the post WWII Xtian Church Rat-lines!

    Accusation of genocide the current UN popular fashion that’s all the rage – against Israel: This is a rhetorical weapon, not a serious legal or historical argument. The UN Genocide Convention defines genocide narrowly (intent to destroy a group in whole or part), and nothing in Israel’s Gaza war remotely fits the Shoah’s systematic annihilation program.

    Equating Gaza with the Shoah: This creates a false equivalence. It trivializes the Holocaust by comparing it to a conventional (albeit tragic and brutal) military conflict. That’s a classic form of Holocaust distortion, which scholars recognize as a component of Holocaust denial.

    Exposing the distortion: equating Shoah ↔ Gaza is not just “bad taste” but an active rewriting of history. Naming the antisemitism: Holocaust denial is a recognized form of antisemitism (see IHRA working definition). Turning the charge: Instead of defending Israel on impossible moral terrain (as if Jews must prove innocence of genocide), have unmasked the pig church “moral” denial of Jewish historical trauma.

    Holocaust Denier as an accusation: It’s not exactly a counter-argument about Gaza itself (so in that sense it’s not a direct rebuttal). It does however expose the vast under-belly of this Church “morality” pig. Made a valid exposure of the rhetorical abuse—that this morality pig antisemite, openly trafficks in Holocaust denial compared to the metaphor of “illegal drugs” — by trivialization.

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    • Thank you for the comment, mosckerr. A number of scholars and organizations (including some in Israel) have called what Israel is doing in Gaza a genocide, and I agree with them. Yes, it’s not a genocide on the level of the atrocities Nazis committed during the World War II era, but a smaller genocide (even as it’s perhaps the largest mass-murder of the 21st century) is still a genocide. And calling it that is not antisemitic.

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        • Yes, several genocides over the decades — including Israel’s current one in Gaza. I consider the Russia-Ukraine situation more a war than a genocide (with Russia of course more to blame) because Ukraine is large enough and getting enough U.S. military aid to put up somewhat of a fight. Most Palestinians in Gaza are unarmed civilians who don’t have a chance under Israel’s barrage.

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          • The American Indians etc. None of these examples brought up compare to the so called Gaza Balestinians. Arabs, if you don’t know, cannot pronounce the letter P of the European word “Palestine”. Dave, excuse me, but what exactly are your credentials whereby you assume that your opinion merits the “expert” label? Russia invaded the Ukraine. Hamas invaded Israel on Oct 7th. A fundamental distinction that you fail to address. Why?

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            • I don’t claim to be an “expert expert” on the Mideast, but I read the news, listen to podcasts, see video footage, read history, etc.

              Yes, Russia invaded Ukraine for no decent reason. (Russia claimed NATO was encroaching on its sphere of influence or whatever.) Ukraine was not an oppressor of Russia.

              But Hamas — which I have no love for — invaded Israel on October 7 after Israel oppressed Palestinians since the 1940s. Still, an awful terrorist act by Hamas, followed by a hugely disproportionate state terrorist response by Israel. A thousand-plus deaths vs. so far 60,000-plus deaths (the latter probably a gross undercount).

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              • Same “News” that reported Russia-Gate for 4 Years and Jan 6 revolution for another 4 years… Dave that’s a very very bad source of information. Podcasts that’s just 10th hand gossip. For example: Can you explain how the 1917 Balfour Declaration serves as the very definition of Zionism? If you can’t then you do not know the basis of all Arab Israeli Wars fought in the Middle East.

                Arafat – offered all of Samaria ((((Do you know what land this refers to? Arab and Great Power propaganda refers to it as “West Bank”. However the UN in the early 1950s condemned as illegal Jordan’s post ’48 annexation of what these sources referred to as “the West Bank”. In the June 1967 War, Jordan attacked Israel and Israel recaptured Samaria – the name of the lands of the 10 Tribe kingdom of Israel! Following the defeat of Jordan in that year – its illegally seized “West Bank” ceased to exist; just as following the termination of the 1948 War of Independence Israel replaced the UN Mandate called by the League of Nation in 1922 “Palestine”. Why did the League of Nations refer to Ottoman “Greater Syria” by the European name “Palestine”? 1. England won WWI. The victors of WWI dismantled the empires of both Austria-Hungary in Europe and the Ottoman Empire in the Middle East. 2. The League of Nations based its “Palestine” Mandate upon the 1917 Balfour Declaration!)))), East Jerusalem and equivalent land swaps to replace the Jews settlements already established in Samaria. This peace deal, offered during the Clinton Administration. Arafat rejected it. All Arab Israeli war not fought over whether Palestinians deserve a State! Rather all Arab Israeli wars fought over the Arab universal rejection of the Jewish state of Israel to achieve self-determination in the Middle East. Hence this defines the meaning of Zionism which UN GA Resolution 3379 attempted to declare, that Zionism is Racism!

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              • 900 deaths vs 30 Hamas and Islamic Jihad soldiers deaths. This conflict fought in densely packed civilian populations. Hamas uses private Homes, UN Buildings, and Hospitals as weapons caches and Military sites! The soldier:civilian death ratio in this war, the lowest in human history!!!! When the US invaded both Iraq and Afghanistan it soldiers killed more than 600,000 civilians in the 1st war to expel Saddam out of Kuwait. and over 1,000,000 civilian deaths in the 2nd Gulf War! The ratio of Iraqi dead to American dead – far greater than 900:60,000. Patton said: No honor for an American soldier to die for his country. Rather, that Germans soldiers die for their country!

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              • It’s the month of Elul. The King’s in the Field – an old Hassidic idea. Jews come and stand before an opened Sefer Torah and cry the 13 middot revelation of the Oral Torah at Horev to express our t’shuva!

                DOREEN DOTAN’S ARCHIVE

                A different take on Israel and Other Important Issues

                עדן
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                4th Oral Torah middah רחום, learns from the בניני אבות-precedents commandments 1. to obliterate all people of Canaan 2. the stubborn and rebellious child, 3. the eternal war upon Amalek. The tohor middah of רחום pleads that HaShem distinguish between the תורה ברית which separated ברכה מן ארור. All like vs death henges upon this most basic distinction! Its Ellul now. Jews open up the Sefer Torah and cry out the 13 Oral Torah Middot, to remember the sin of the Golden Calf as our תשובה על יום הזכרון!!!! Tough תשובה if a Jew can’t separate and discern רחום from חנון!

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                • You initially posted three comments; I replied three times. I’m not interested in giving a detailed response to three more (relatively long) comments, but rest assured we would continue to disagree on facts and opinions.

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                    • All the many variables of Xtianity, simply amount to theological word salads that leave a shit taste in the mouth.

                      Arminianism

                      Curtis Narimatsu

                      AI —

                      Lutheran seminary students denounce Arminian theology primarily because it undermines the foundational Reformation principle of sola gratia, or “grace alone”. While both traditions believe salvation is a gift from God, they disagree fundamentally on the nature of human free will and its role in accepting that gift. 

                      Core Lutheran objections to Arminianism

                      The bondage of the will: Following Martin Luther’s treatise On the Bondage of the Will, Lutherans teach that the human will is “in bondage” to sin and is spiritually dead, utterly incapable of initiating a “decision for Christ” on its own. Arminianism, in contrast, teaches that God’s grace enables a person to either accept or reject the gospel through their own free will. For Lutherans, this suggests that the sinner contributes to their own salvation, which conflicts with their view that salvation is entirely God’s work.

                      The nature of faith: In Lutheran theology, faith is not a human decision but a gift created in a person’s heart by the Holy Spirit through the gospel and baptism. This perspective views faith as an “empty hand” that receives God’s saving grace, not a meritorious act of human cooperation. Lutherans reject the Arminian view, which can be interpreted as making faith a condition or a human contribution to justification.

                      Unconditional election: Lutherans confess the doctrine of unconditional election, agreeing with Calvinists that God’s choice to save believers is based entirely on His grace and the merits of Christ, not on any foreseen faith or action by the individual. They diverge from Arminianism, which teaches that election is conditional upon God’s foreknowledge of a person’s future faith. For Lutherans, the Arminian view subtly reintroduces human merit into salvation.

                      Distinction between law and gospel: Denouncing Arminius allows Lutheran seminarians to preserve the sharp distinction between law and gospel.

                      The law tells humanity that it is sinful and unable to save itself.

                      The gospel proclaims that salvation is a free and unearned gift from God.

                      By teaching that a person plays a role in their own salvation, Lutherans argue that Arminianism conflates the law and the gospel, obscuring the radical freeness of God’s grace. 

                      A point of agreement, but with different reasoning

                      Interestingly, Lutherans and Arminians often agree that a true Christian can fall away from the faith. However, the reasons for this belief are different and highlight their core theological differences: 

                      Arminianism: Views falling away as the reverse side of one’s initial choice for Christ, since salvation depends on the individual’s free will.

                      Lutheranism: Views falling away as the result of human rejection of God’s grace, which is always resistible. They reject the notion that a person has the “ability” to reject Christ, instead viewing it as a spiritual act of drowning for someone already spiritually dead. 

                      Incompatibility at a foundational level

                      While some might mistakenly view Lutheranism as a middle ground between Calvinism and Arminianism, Lutheranism is fundamentally incompatible with the core principles of Arminian theology. In the Lutheran view, the Arminian focus on human freedom in salvation is seen as a move away from the centrality of God as the sole actor in a person’s salvation. 

                      Understanding the nuances of these theological positions is essential. To go a bit deeper, would you like to explore the difference in how Lutherans and Calvinists view predestination and election, or learn more about the Lutheran doctrine of the means of grace?

                      A Lutheran Response to Arminianism by Rick Ritchie June 29, 2007, in Modern Reformation

                      Since the seventeenth century, Calvinism has been identified with its five-point reply to the Arminian party at the Synod of Dort. Calvinists often complain that this summary of their theology, though accurate in expressing the Calvinists’ disagreement with their Arminian opponents, presents a truncated view of what Calvinism really is. Where in the five points do we hear of the covenant or of union with Christ? To properly understand a theology, we must not only know what it says to its opponents, but we need to know how it is to be presented on its own terms.

                      If a five-point summary is an awkward way to present Calvinism, it is downright foreign to Lutheranism. This is not because Lutheranism lacks a defined doctrine of election. (It certainly has one.) God’s gracious election of certain individuals to salvation was affirmed in Article X of the Formula of Concord, the last of the Lutheran confessions. The darker side of predestination has also been considered. As the great Lutheran theologian Hermann Sasse wrote,

                      Lutheran theology knows about the God of Predestination: This God who makes us responsible for demands which we cannot fulfill, who asks us questions which we cannot answer, who created us for good and yet leaves us no other choice than to do evil-this is the Deus absconditus. This is the God of absolute Predestination. This is the God who hardened Pharaoh’s heart, who hated Esau even before he was born, the Potter who fashions pots and before whom one shrinks-and who, nevertheless, thunders in pitiless sovereignty at these unhappy creatures, ‘Tua culpa!’ Thine is the guilt! (1) ….
                      ______________________
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                      The relationship between Lutheranism and the Nazis, especially during the Holocaust (Shoah), is a disgrace exposing the bankruptcy of its dead theology. Lutheran leaders and institutions in Germany during the Nazi era either supported or remained silent about the regime’s actions, especially concerning the Jewish Nazi abomination.

                      The debate over Arminian theology and the principle of sola gratia (grace alone) highlights internal theological disagreements, but it can also be seen as a distraction from addressing the more pressing moral failures of the tradition during critical historical moments. This too exposes the bankruptcy of religious rhetoric. Grace, the translation of חנון in Hebrew, means the commitment to dedicate Oral Torah middot to shape and determine how a person socially behaves and interacts with his/her people in the future! This sola gratia gobbledygook religion rhetoric – simply pie in the sky narishkeit nonsense.

                      The Reformation, which emphasized grace and faith, remembered for the barbaric 30 Year War! The actions of the Lutheran church during the Shoah have confirmed “by their fruits you shall know them” … the Apple does not fall far from the tree – condemnation. The church, in all its many variable denominations, utterly bankrupt. Never has any Xtian country had a public courtroom hold the church accountable for war-crimes. Never has any State Court ever condemned the church for the 3 Century ghetto gulags of western European Jewry!

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    • Orthodox Judaism: Off the דרך.

      madlik·madlik.com

      Intentional and Unintentional Holiness
      Are there times were we should strive not to be present or in the moment? As we enter the month of Elul and approach the High Holidays, many of us instinctively tighten our grip on spiritual practices. We double down …
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      Pie in the Sky religious rhetoric narishkeit. Why do Yidden open up the Torah to public vision and call out repeatedly the 13 middot when Jews NEVER question: “What הבדלה separates one Oral Torah middah from another? Its these Oral Torah middot which define the k’vanna of all time-oriented commandments such as kre’a shma דאורייתא and tefillah דרבנן. Both this or that require tohor middot as the k’vanna of all mitzvot from the Torah and Talmud, to elevate these unto tohor time-oriented commandments from the Torah according to the B’HaG.

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  7. I’m surprised the felon, snatch grabbing sexual offender and possible pedophile hasn’t deported Winston and Julia from 1984.

    He might as well give O’Brian the Presidential Medal of Freedom. He can do it on the same day he does giuliani.

    I’m Canadian and I’m sick about what’s going on in the USA, Dave! I can only imagine your heartbreak and horror… as the troops march into Chicago!

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  9. A great post, Dave. They would deport as any fictional or nonfictional characters who do not mirror them. At first I thought it was a book banning. It pierced my heart because he and his partners would do it without blinking their eyes. It’s getting sickening. 😔

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  12. Oh Dave! A genius way to make some very serious points regarding American politics with particular reference to the issue of deportation and the tragic war in the Middle East! But it was your final reference to Trump that made the biggest point! You have made reference to some fantastic books, as ever! Thanks Dave! Have a great week. Sharon😊

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  14. Dave, your inventiveness never ceases to amaze me! The idea of characters being “deported” from their novels is both hilarious and thought-provoking—it really highlights how deeply we feel about fictional lives and how unsettled we become when they’re displaced.

    I especially loved the thought of Jane Eyre wandering out of Charlotte Brontë’s pages and into an entirely different story—it reminds me how adaptable and resilient literary characters are, always finding new ways to live on in our imaginations. That’s the gift of literature, isn’t it? Even when pulled from their original context, the characters we love refuse to vanish.

    We live in complex, difficult times. My quote that came to me as I read your post was from Sir Walter Scott’s Ivanhoe. To me this quote describes the truly worthy leader: “For he that does good, having the unlimited power to do evil, deserves praise not only for the good which he performs, but for the evil which he forbears.”

    Always a joy to stop by!!!

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    • Thank you very much, Rebecca! A great point that readers deeply relate to well-drawn fictional characters; they almost feel like real people to us. So, when something bad happens to them, we are upset and mourn.

      And that’s a fantastic Sir Walter Scott quote! Given how many leaders are cruel and/or corrupt and/or willing to be compromised and/or toadies to the powerful and/or narcissistic, etc., it’s so refreshing when there’s a rare one who is compassionate and has good motives.

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      • Thank you, Dave — I agree completely. The best fictional characters do feel like real companions, and when they suffer, we share in that grief as if it were our own. I’m glad you appreciated the Sir Walter Scott quote. I think of that thought often these days. His words feel particularly relevant today, when true compassion in leadership is such a rare and precious quality. Literature reminds us that goodness and integrity are possible, even if they sometimes feel overshadowed. Sigh….

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  18. A bit of personal horn blowing, Dave, I hope you don’t mind. In one of my books, I wrote a scene about a Senate hearing in which a pastor who was running a homeless shelter was asked if he checked to be sure he wasn’t serving undocumented aliens. He said it would be impossible to manage that at the “bowl of soup level” and in conflict with his calling.

    I thought the scene was pretty good fiction until someone signed an executive order last week requiring shelters (receiving federal money) to do just that.

    It’s hard to know what might not be fiction these days.

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    • Thank you, Dan! Personal horn-blowing is absolutely fine. 🙂 Yes, the disturbing truth of many of the Trump regime’s actions is stranger than fiction (yours and others) — including the sick shelter requirement you describe. Turns out you were prescient. Absolutely no empathy or decency from Trump and his ilk. 😦

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  19. IF only we could send the 34x convicted felon far far way,2028 can’t come soon enough as much as I try not to wish the years away.

    Many Hispanics under the guise of DJT having macho qualities, machismo ,really being biased to vote for a credible, qualified woman voted for the authoritarian thug. These misguided people saw the others as immigrants coming in through the border they here in America for decade or more who work,pay taxes to hundreds of millions could be a billion to government and CANNOT collect a nickel, cannot get Medicaid, so these people who voted Frump thought it won’t happen to them as they go to meet with immigration appt.then taken to jail.Quick fast,pad #s taken out of country. Law abiding citizens supporting our economy.

    It happened to a 22 year old South Korean woman whose mother is a Reverend, the young woman incarcerated 5 days. People taken from places of employment, those immigrants waiting outside of Home Depot. They aren’t finding criminals,we know most immigrants hard working law abiding hence closure of the vile Alligator Alcatraz, cost Florida over 200 million.

    So now distractions, bringing national guard to blue cities not acknowledging Frump and his sordid relationship with late Epstein. It appears on back burner but won’t go away.

    Its causing more mental and physical decline of Frump. Just look at at him,if you can he makes me sick. All the orange shellac cannot hide it.

    As far as JK Rowling her “name” she uses, very wealthy which can bring isolation, is anti-trangender people. Would she want them deported? Let people be who they are, enough of people not being understanding of others.Stop judging others I feel. Stop being mean.

    Michele

    E @ P way back

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    • Thank you, Michele! Hopefully the felon occupying the White House won’t try to illegally run for a third term in 2028, or stop elections from happening.

      Yes, Trump in 2024 got somewhat more votes from Hispanic men and other people of color. Many are regretting that vote, as you note. Trump and Stephen Miller have their quota of people to deport, so documented immigrants, full-fledged American citizens, etc., with no criminal histories get caught in the net, as you also note. 😦

      And, yes, a huge number of distractions to try to get people’s minds off the fact that Trump is totally part of the Epstein files for sexual assault and perversion.

      Also, I agree that Trump’s health is obviously going downhill.

      A real shame about J.K. Rowling’s dismaying blind spot regarding transgender rights. She’s progressive in most other ways, and her anti-trans views don’t seem to make it into any of her many excellent Harry Potter and post-Harry Potter novels (I’ve read every book she’s written).

      GREAT advice to stop judging others and to stop being mean.

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  22. An excellent blog, as ever, Dave, although unfortunate that the times demand it. Might I add another character to the tally? Cathy Ames, of ‘East of Eden’ ill-fame, has to go on account of her attempt to terminate her own expectant condition; however, under her later pseudonym of Kate Trask she’s ‘disappeared’ to a secret location – rumoured to be a certain island mentioned in certain non-existent files – there to continue her profession, repugnant to many but to the tastes of those non-existent names which aren’t present in the non-existent files. I shall now deport myself from this comment. Stay strong. :):(

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  25. “But no character was spared from deportation in Arundhati Roy’s The God of Small Things because Trump erroneously thought the title of that novel referred to his fingers and his…”

    Phew … The ellipsis says it all. My gosh 🥲🥹😭

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