What Is So Rare as a Cat Post in June?

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SO ready for my close-up. (Photo by some human.)

I, Misty the cat, am back for my every-two-month guest blog post — this time starting with a book-related complaint. Is my beef the fact that few males in literature are as handsome as my feline self? Well, that’s an issue, but my complaint actually involves libraries not always having every book in a series — causing me to slap photos of not-there novels on milk cartons under the word MISSING.

Sure, I realize some of those novels are being borrowed by library users, but my cat intuition suspects that in other cases the whole series were not ordered by acquisitions departments. If Amnesty International didn’t have infinitely more important things to do, they’d investigate.

I most recently wrestled with missing-book syndrome after looking several times for Y Is for Yesterday, the 25th and final installment of Sue Grafton’s wonderful series of alphabet mysteries (the author unfortunately died before authoring Z). I decided not to write 25 strongly worded…letters.

Then, after reading Peter May’s riveting thriller The Blackhouse and its equally intense sequel The Lewis Man (unexpectedly not about Jerry Lewis in The Nutty Professor), I returned to the library several times with hopeful tail in air looking for the third installment: The Chessmen. But it was never there. Not even a single cheap plastic pawn, rook, or bishop. Sure, I could try to get on a waiting list (if my local library had those books) or do the interlibrary loan thing, but I have so many books on my to-read list that I just ended up borrowing other novels. After briefly sobbing for multiple days.

During my last library visit vainly seeking The Chessmen, I randomly chose a different Peter May novel called Lockdown. Didn’t like it at all; I abandoned the book after struggling through nearly 100 pages — though I kindly gave the library some clues about where I had abandoned said book. (Hint: it’s buried near where labor leader Jimmy Hoffa disappeared in 1975.) Even the best authors can write the occasional clunker, and their prison terms for doing so tend to be only several years.

More clunkers by otherwise excellent authors who are not cats like me? Stephen King’s Cell, Kristin Hannah’s Fly Away, Willa Cather’s Sapphira and the Slave Girl, and Jack London’s A Daughter of the Snows, to name four. I’d love to see what’s in the parent-name boxes on that snow daughter’s birth certificate.

Nary a clunker among George Eliot’s big-five novels published in this chronological order: Adam Bede, The Mill on the Floss, Silas Marner, Middlemarch, and Daniel Deronda. Oddly, Mary Ann Evans wrote the same five novels — meaning she and Eliot may have been smoking noms de plume.

Daniel Deronda reminds me — the intermittently meowing Misty — that many fictional works have alliterative titles: Black Beauty (Anna Sewell), Captains Courageous (Rudyard Kipling), Cat’s Cradle (Kurt Vonnegut), Golden Girl (Elin Hilderbrand), Gone Girl (Gillian Flynn), Make Me (Lee Child), Marjorie Morningstar (Herman Wouk), Nicholas Nickleby (Charles Dickens), Perestroika in Paris (Jane Smiley), Peter Pan (J.M. Barrie), Rob Roy (Walter Scott), The Cuckoo’s Calling (J.K. Rowling), The Custom of the Country (Edith Wharton), The Great Gatsby (F. Scott Fitzgerald), The Master and Margarita (Mikhail Bulgakov), The Boys from Biloxi (John Grisham), The Plains of Passage (Jean M. Auel), etc. Oh, and Crime and Crunishment.

What does “crunishment” mean? I think it has something to do with being bombarded by croutons.

It’s June and the sun is often out, so I would like to conclude this post with some novels that have “Sun” in their titles. The Sun Also Rises, of course, which I feel is overrated Hemingway — although he was a big fan of never-overrated cats. Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro. A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini. And so on. I, Misty the cat, do not live in “The House of the Rising Sun” but instead dwell in “The Apartment of the Rising Sun” — from which I emerge every morning for my daily leashed walk to do more reading: STOP signs, street signs, graffiti, license plates, T-shirt logos, and the occasional plane skywriting “Where’s the final alphabet mystery?”

My human Dave will reply to all comments because “crunishment” is not a word.

Misty the cat says: “I’m inches from garden-bag greatness.”

My (and Dave’s) comedic 2024 book — the part-factual/part-fictional/not-a-children’s-work Misty the Cat…Unleashed — is described and can be purchased on Amazon in paperback or on Kindle. It’s feline-narrated! (And Amazon reviews are welcome. 🙂 )


This 90-second promo video for the book features a talking cat: 🙂

Dave is also the author of a 2017 literary-trivia book…

…and a 2012 memoir that focuses on cartooning and more, including many encounters with celebrities.

In addition to this weekly blog, Dave writes the 2003-started/award-winning “Montclairvoyant” topical-humor column every Thursday for Montclair Local. The latest piece — with primary election results, a governor’s mixed reaction to protests against an awful immigrant detention center, and more — is here.

96 thoughts on “What Is So Rare as a Cat Post in June?”

  1. A delightful post from Misty! Full of humor, clever observations, and a wonderful love of books. The missing-series frustration is so relatable, and the playful literary references made me smile throughout. Wishing Misty many more successful library adventures and hopefully a copy of The Chessmen soon!

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  2. Pingback: Darlene’s Fun Audio Post (Thursday Doors Writing Challenge & Sally Cronin Book Bump for authors)”Circle of friendship connection” – PRIORHOUSE WRITES

  3. Purrrfectly enjoyed this post today and “crunishment” meaning being bombarded by croutons is fun – also, maybe it means “being bombarded by croutons and with clunkers” – ha

    I am also a big fan of never-overrated cats. meow.

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  4. Misty is a very academic cat and has read some marvelous books. When I was young I often found the library was missing books in various series. I bought many of them as an adult I reread the entire series. I don’t read adult series as a general rule although I make some exceptions but never more than three book series.

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  5. Hello handsome Misty!

    Thank you for the delightful post, parts of which made me laugh out loud! 😺

    I absolutely take your point about ‘The Sun Also Rises’. I spent good money on a hardback edition only to be disappointed. While it was OK it didn’t knock my socks off!!

    Being a kitty of such distinction I would love your thoughts on ‘Half of a Yellow Sun’ and ‘A Thousand Splendid Suns’.

    I didn’t notice before, the word ‘sun’ featured in so many book titles. Hmm!

    A wonderful post!

    😊🥳

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  7. Misty,

    Mischa here. I’ve added a “c” to my name, as it appears more literally literary.

    And I “c” you have used crunishment in this post. Yes, let the humans think it’s all about croutons, whereas all cats know it’s about crunchies. There’s nothing more fun than leaving a few of them lying around for Resa to step on.

    First she makes this..uch.. kind of noise. Then she has to get that mini-vac thing, from which I feign cowering and horror. Then her guilt at making me terrified gets me a squishy treat. It’s really a fab scam.

    Hmm, I heard Resa say something about reading a book “Slaughterhouse Five”. That better not have anything to do with cats!!!

    Okay, signing off now. Time to scatter a few crunchies.

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    • Thank you, “Mischa” (with a “c” 🙂 ) and Resa! LOL! 😂 I hear you about crunchy treats being occasionally scattered on the floor. Ouch! Cats are indeed scammers, in the most beloved sense. Re Vonnegut novels, felines always enjoy “Breakfast of Champions,” because all kitties believe they are champions. And they’re right.

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      • Yes, Cats Rule!
        That should be a book.
        Misty, could you please ask Dave if “Breakfast of Champions” better than Slaughter House Five?

        I seem to have worked up an appetite on the sheer mention of breakfast. Time for a snack!

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        • Cats indeed rule, Resa!

          I’ve never read “Breakfast of Champions,” so I can’t compared it to “Slaughterhouse-Five.” But snacks are always on the to-eat list. 🙂

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  9. Oh, Misty! Your clunker lists…your rant about “not there” volumes…your observation about your handsomeness. Almost too much for this one, inadequate human to absorb.
    I mean…Dave knows I do my best. He’ll vouch for me, I think. Honestly I think you need to renegotiate terms — re: the frequency of your “takeover” guest posts. Your fan base is speaking!
    ❤️😉❤️

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  10. Gorgeous photo, Misty – very, very nice. I also like that word: ‘crunishment’, it almost sounds like kibbles, and that’s a very important word indeed, both for you, Misty and my little cat, Luna. Let’s munch almost together later, what do you think, you too? 🐈🐈‍⬛

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    • Thank you, Ada! Visits to my town’s library are definitely a ritual for me. Partly because we live in an apartment, and have little room for even more books — though I still buy some occasionally. 🙂 Sorry you haven’t gotten to visit your local library recently, though you’re obviously still an avid reader. 🙂 I miss visiting the children’s section with my daughters when they were kids.

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  13. Dear Misty!!! As a fellow library wanderer, I sympathize deeply with your search for missing books. There is nothing quite so frustrating as discovering that a beloved series has a gap large enough for a cat to disappear through. Your milk-carton campaign for missing novels seems entirely justified. Your comments about library shelves reminded me that some of the most memorable reading adventures begin when the book we are seeking is absent and another unexpected title finds us instead. Although, in the case of The Chessmen, I hope it eventually wanders back onto the shelf where it belongs.

    Please extend my thanks to Dave for allowing such an erudite feline to visit the blog every two months. I look forward to future reports from the Apartment of the Rising Sun.

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  16. Good to see Misty back, Dave. That’s the problem with libraries; other people will be so inconsiderate as to read the book you want to read at the same time as you. Can you imagine sharing a cat with your neighbours, and them having the moggy when you want it? Thank goodness Mistry has condescended to live with you and you alone. Have a good week together. 🙂

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  18. I feel your disappointment, Misty. If you could make it to LA, you’ll find “Y Is for Yesterday” at our local library. What a zinger that the author died before writing the final book in the series! For me, that’s “crunishment.”

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